Get a blank copy here: [link]

The Deadly Awkward Quiz

Let's start off by warning the children to just move along. This quiz does not hold any punches in its pursuit of asking the most awkward questions possible, so really, nobody should take this quiz ever under any circumstances.

The rules are simple, and there are only three anyway. First, you have to decide now whether or not you're going to take this quiz. If you start, you have to force yourself to keep going all the way to the end and answer every question along the way, even though you really, really won't want to answer some of them, and then you have to post this quiz as an entry in your Deviant Art journal and get your friends to take the quiz. Second, you cannot use the delete key while you take your quiz or otherwise go back and undo anything you've typed except for fixing typos. So some of your answers might have something like, “Well actually, scratch that, let me start over,” or something like that. Third, you can't look ahead on the quiz. That is, if you're on the first question, then no peeking at any of the other questions.

Again, you will have to force yourself to answer some of these questions, and they will get progressively and almost unbearably worse as it goes on, too. But remember that other people have taken the test before you and were able to do it, and they felt the same way (and you'll have the last laugh when you tag others and they have to take the quiz).

This is your last warning! This quiz will eat you alive, but once you start, don't be lame and pretend you never started. If you start, then suck it up and finish the quiz. Here we go!

---QUIZ BEGINS: ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE!---

1.What is your Deviant Art user name?
alaniscute

2.Are you a virgin?
I would be if it weren't for all the rape. People can't resist my cuteness.

3.What is the user name of the person who showed or made you take this quiz?
kendrachu

4.Do you think they're a virgin?
quite possibly

5.What's the sexiest, most attractive thing about that person?
tits. I dunno. just kidding. or am I? <_< anyway

6.You want to have sex with that person. How would you go about convincing them to copulate?
...tell her i have a pose I'd like her to draw me in?

7.You must improve the physical attractiveness of that person within one day, so what do you change about them?
not wear a bra. I dunno. just kidding. or am I? <_< anyway

8.Have you ever masturbated twice or more in the same day?
against my own will, like I said, the cuteness is a blessing and a curse. I guess that's not really what that question was asking though, huh? well, you're all welcome for that nugget of information.

9.If you had to have sex with somebody you regularly eat lunch with (or if you don't regularly eat lunch with anybody, then somebody you otherwise regularly hang out with) of the same gender, who would it be?
whoever is the least aggresive [I don't have lunch with any guys regularly]...that's not a direct answer, I know. I just don't want to be done up my bum-da.

10.Given the same group of people to choose from but also including the opposite gender as well now, if you had to personally castrate somebody, who would it be?
zach, because that answer seems to be a trend.

11.Pick two people on your Deviant Art watch list, and then pick one different bodily orifice for each of them. Summarize in as much detail as you'd like a sexual act between the two people using those two orifices.
Kendra: mouth
James: mouth
they go to alaniscute.com and begin to make out in the hopes that their actions will lead to certain deviance, in the hopes that they will create something as cute as I am. they will not succeed.

12.How many inches of dildo do you think you could force into one of the orifices in the pants region if you absolutely had to?
what's it made out of? [that was actually probably a lot grosser than the original question. my bad.]

13.Describe your rape fantasy. If you do not have a rape fantasy, then go ahead and take five or ten minutes and make one, and then describe it.
I wake up and I'm tied to a pole in the middle of Time Square. Hot chicks [only hot chicks...without herpes] are lined up behind a sign that says "go down on the cute guy, $20". I'd get the money after the day was over.

14.You must make a million dollars in one week by making a porno, so it better be good. You're casting five of your friends for the lead roles. Tell us the name of your porno, what your friends do in it, and why you think each of your friends would be good in the role you gave them.
Name: "Bananas in Pajamas"
Starring: James, Kendra, Kate, Ryan, Jenna
Plot: tents are being pitched at the coolest sleepover in high school history. anyone who's anyone is going to be there...and anyone who's anyone won't be wearing underwear!

15.Picture all of your classes all the way back to preschool. You're being held at gunpoint, and the only way you aren't going to be shot is if your current self goes back in time to have sex with one of the classes. What's the furthest class you'd go back in time to have sex with before taking the bullet? (If you make it to preschool, you get to live!)
who do I have to do?

---END OF QUIZ: NOW GET YOUR FRIENDS TO TAKE IT SO YOU CAN LAUGH AT THEM---